One thing that stops me from going to church is the thought of Hell. I feel that Hell is not fair because our lives are very short and the punishment of Hell is disproportionate. If a man was cruel to other people for 20 years then why should he be tormented for eternity? Would it not be fair to punish him for 20 years? It would bother me if I was in Heaven and I knew that people were being tormented forever. I want the maker himself to give me insight because I don't understand. I'm not trying to criticize any religion, I am being truthful. It bothers me when I think about the topic. People have done bad things to me in the past but I don't want them to go to hell. I would go down to hell and tell Hitler himself that he had enough and free him if I could because I don't want anyone to be suffer like that. I beg for insight and mercy.
I don't know who is reading this and what now is to the person that is reading it, what I do know is that I am writing the truth, the way I think and feel.
I am a very misunderstood man, I watch things on TV that some people see as morbid but it is only the mystery that interests me. They don't understand what is going through my mind. Here is the connection, my life is a mystery because I don't understand what the creator thinks, people don't understand me because they don't know how I value things. Both things cause me to be frustrated. Not having deep insight into life and being misunderstood.
If a lady is walking in front of me on the street, she may be afraid because I am bigger than her but she does not understand that I am a blameless man and won't harm anyone. That person does not know that. They just think that the man walking behind could be dangerous, they don't know that I am heading in my own direction. Thankfully I get about by car now so that awkward feeling has been eliminated.
The other thing is that my thoughts are not valued by others. When I reach out to talk about these big topics, the topic is ended through an excuse.
My mind is a village, I walk though it and try thought experiments in there and that is what matters to me. The village inside my mind is a paradise that is more beautiful than any place on Earth that I know of. There is a whole world inside me that is written of by people. No person in this world will ever understand me unless they are telepathic.
