What September 2026 Means to Me

September 26 was quite difficult, I won't say why. All I will say is there was a health crisis involving someone close to me, I will say nothing else. A doorway opened to a hell Scape that wiped out all the peace left inside me. It was a bit too much. We are here for a short time and then it is over. I wrestled with my mind to think less and try to be absent from the chaos. What else can I do? 

As time passed by, the world continued to prove people can't live in peace. It was on the last day of the month a terrorist tried to cause to plane to crash into Israel. 

May I stay humble and not look at others and think I'm better than anyone else. If that thought ever emerges, may I remember the bad deeds I did throughout my life. Everything that merits shame will remind me I'm just a speck, I little human being amongst other specks that is just here for a short time. May the day I was born just be a day to rest and take a short break. Everything that merits my shame will remind me I'm not good, I'm just man. A man trying not to overthink and be at peace. 

Skip Away

I became aware that I'm over weight because I'm 1.8 meters tall (5 ft 10) and I weigh 110kg ( 242 pounds). The ideal weight for my height should be around 80kg. I'm carrying an extra 30 kilograms of weight around with me. I picked up a sack of rice that weighs 20kg and I thought to myself that I would be tired if I carried that around all day. But I'm carrying 30 unnecessary kilograms already. 

Last week I bought a skipping rope for £4. I thought, if I can get my weight down just by skipping then I would save money because a decent treadmill cost £200 and gym membership is usually £20 to £30 per month. It is very nice skipping rope, it has a polymer cord, hinged joint between the rope and handles, the handles are padded foam. If I shopped around a bit online I could probably get a very good skipping rope for £2. 

The goal now would be to skip for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening; two sets of 5 minutes per day. Then I would increase the five minutes to 10 minutes. Eventually I want to go outside once a day and skip continuously for 30 minutes as fast as possible. 

My extra weight is making my life more difficult and short. I get tired more than when I weighed 90kg in my 30s. When my weight is 90kg, I can buy weights to increase my muscles. I also need to stop eating so much bread. Most the food I eat every day is bread. 

Healthy Habits

In recent weeks I have been adding vegetables to all my favourite foods to improve fiber and slow down the absorbtion rate of the food in my intestines. For cheese and tomato sandwiches I add lettuce, for pasta I add some frozen broccoli and cauliflower.

Now I'm remembering things that caused me to lose some weight. I tried to make a movie on YouTube based on my short documentary videos, Alanasis. All the focus I applied to the project caused me to forget I'm hungry. Unfortunately I hated my movie and never posted it. I felt like my voice was very dull and boring. The storyline of the docu-movie was also slow and dragged on. 

Now the new thing that causes me to eat less is virtual reality. When my brother visits me, he brings his vr headset. When I play golf in virtual reality, I don't feel hungry. If I feel guilty about playing games, I play language lesson audio files so I'm learning Spanish while I play. 

Should I try again to make a movie? if it's lame I will still lose weight, hmmm 🤔

Sick again

Last night I went to work but I was still slightly sick. I thought I was OK but I felt terrible. I felt dizzy and had a headache. I was weak and could not work freely.

I carried on working and just hoped it would go away but I didn't. I feel a bit better now, I hope that work will be smooth tonight.

Sometimes I feel like I have recovered when I haven't. The most important thing in this life is good health. If you are sick and tired all the time then your quality of life is reduced.