What February 2020 means to me

It is March now, in February the Corona virus called Covid 19 spread around the world and has infected thousands of people. 

Some people think that the virus came from a Lab and was deliberately released into the community. I would say Swine flu came from pigs, Bird flu came from birds and Corona viruses came from making everything under the sun's Corona that walks too slow into a stir fry meal, bats, rats, snakes, everything. Animals get their own viruses and humans get them from the food chain. Humans are not controlled by reason they have big brains but they don't use them the right way. 

All influenza and Ebola viruses came from eating animals. Even aids came from a hunter that cut his hand while he prepared an infected kill, no lab was involved although I wouldn't be surprised is experimentation came into it. 

If an alien is reading this and thinks I am exaggerating about human ignorance, I would say that humans spill lead and plastic into the oceans, the fish eat the pollution then the humans eat the fish.  Then the humans say who's bad? Who's bad?  You are. And they go to war and drop explosives and die. They are both bad (at thinking). 

It is a very wet and windy February. It rained incessantly through the month and preceding winter, we had 3 storms. The whole winter was damp and political. I keep my chin up for spring. 

Still Raining

It is a leap year so we have an extra day. I wish my retro Casio wrist watch knew that, it thinks it is March already.  It is been raining incessantly for 3 months now, every river in England is filled to the brim or overflowing. If I have a have a hole in the bottom of my shoe, I always find out when it is raining. I think that is a universal thing that all humans experience. They won't notice a hole at the bottom of their shoe until the step on a small puddle. 

We are weeks away from spring but I never noticed the winter was here. I keep things simple, I just say that March is spring. That is better. I will call it spring tomorrow morning. 

Blames O Crying

After nearly four years it is nice to see Blames O Crying still going on and on about brexit like we aren't all completely bored with the topic. 

He sits there with his miserable face and right ear sticking out asking questions that can't be answered to make some kind of point. Yawn...

There is so much more in the world. 

Heathrow eco

I am wondering if I am the only person in the world that thinks adding a 3rd runway at Heathrow airport is better for the environment? 

This is my logic, when planes are queuing to take off they leave their engines on and burn more fuel, the fuel is the thing that is causing the pollution. If there are less queues then there is less pollution. If a plane is landing and has to manoeuvre the aircraft to land then they are burning more fuel so if the runway happens to be already lined up with the plane then they manoeuvre less and land more quickly and burn less fuel. If a plane has to land at an airport that is far away to save money then it is also burning more fuel because it is traveling more distance to the cheaper airport and the passengers need more taxis to take them further and burn more fuel on the ground. Am I the only person that thinks this way? 

People will say, it will reduce flying to London , well... 

If I go to America I can say New york airports have more runways so I won't go to Miami but that is not how people choose their trips. At least that is not how I choose my trips. They don't count the runways at the airports to choose their destination, they go there because they are attracted to that place. 

I can say swallow to pip of a olive to get extra fiber, so I buy an avocado (pop!!). That is the logic of the courts. If you find the good sense then let me know because I can't find it. 

Flat earther dies

A man that believes the Earth is flat built a rocket to prove the theory of the Earth being flat, he was killed when his rocket crashed. I think his name was Mike Hughs. I won't make up any dry jokes that no one laughs at this time, he did die after all. And he probably has fans all around the globe. They may come round to get me into a public fight and I wouldn't want to spend even one round in a ring. Anyway, what goes around comes around. I am a well rounded man and respect other people around me. I would never get around to making a rocket myself. He must have worked around the clock to make that thing. 

The way I see it is the shadow of the Earth that makes the moon into a crescent shape in the sky is always rounded and never has any edges on it. The sun is round and the planet's are all round and never have any flat edges, even the dwarf planet Ceres has crushed itself into a spherical shape. Every person on Earth has a different scope of the sky, if the Earth was flat then everyone on earth would see the same stars in the sky every night but they don't. If the Earth was flat then gravity would not be the same throughout the Earth because the middle of the Earth would have more mass and people on the edges would be pulled sideways slightly. There are people in the international space station going around the globe in orbit and can see the Earth is a round sphere. 

Just saying. I try to keep an open mind but I will call this case closed and keep my verdict. Don't be angry with me peeps. 

Something is wrong

I sense something is wrong because it has been raining incessantly for 3 months now and some districts in the center of Britain has flooded. That is not how winter works here on this island. What normally happens is we get lots of frost in the night and it stays dry and it snows a bit. Even the trees are confused, some of them have opened their spring blossom flowers in February. 

If this is all down to global warming from the greenhouse effect then I would think about Venus because that is a super greenhouse. 

Venus is only about 40 million killometers closer to the sun then Earth but the temperature is 450 °c. To give you a sense of scale, Mars is 220 Millon killometers from the sun, twice as far as Venus. If Venus was in Mars' orbit it would still be over 220 °c on the surface, more than twice the boiling point of water. Even if Venus was placed in the orbit of Jupiter it would still be too hot.

Venus would still be slightly hotter than Earth at the surface if it was as far from the sun as  the planet Saturn. The atmosphere of Venus is very thick so it traps more heat and is even hotter than Mercury which is twice as close to the sun. 

It makes me wonder really perhaps a slow burning star like a red dwarf that is dim could have planets with liquid water on them without being tidally locked if the atmosphere was better at trapping heat. Perhaps such a planet would be fine recieving 5% of the sun's energy if it trapped more heat and it could be at Venus' orbit.  Who knows?

VR rediscovered

I have recently rediscovered virtual reality on my phone. It is amazing, especially if you wear headphones while you are using it. 

I always thought that virtual reality would be expensive but it isn't. In fact it almost costs nothing. I already have a phone, all you need the special goggles to hold the phone in front of your face, you can make the goggles yourself if you want. You can literally get change from a fiver and go to different places without leaving your home. It uses the phone's tilt sensors to move the screen around with your head. 

Plus, some of the apps use augmented reality like goodle expeditions so it turns on your camera and then adds graphics to the picture so you see your sitting room and you see things Infront added to your room like a cell or animal. 

I think the 20s decade will be all about virtual reality. Mabe people will be buying rigs that let you move and fly about like in the movie  "lawnmower man". 

Alan food

Some Brits are very fussy eaters others don't care if their ham is smoked with oak wood or MDF particle board. I'm somewhere in the middle. I am a vegetarian and I make food very fast and don't take that much care in preparing it. 

I clean and cut up onions, carrots, broccoli and cabage and put them in a ceramic bowl with a Pyrex glass lid and blast them in the microwave for 25 minutes and I prepare one packet of instant noodles and add it to the bowl at the end and stir it up. The seasoning that came with the noodles mixes with veg. My meal always takes me less than 30 minutes to prepare. I'm not sure it is healthy or unhealthy. 

That is a typical meal I would prepare. 

Sometimes I will just wash some potatoes. And mix some oil with sources such as nandoes peri peri sauce and smother the potatoes in the oil and sauce mix. Then I would blast it in the same ceramic bowl with glass lid for 20 minutes and leave it for 10 minutes after it is finished. The potatoes stay hot 10 minutes after the microwave has finished and they continue to cook themselves. Then I take the jacket potatoes out of the microwave and eat them and that would be a typical lunch for me. 

My wife is certainly a much better cook then I am. 

Britain flooded

There are many floods on my Island home of Britain in places where I thought there would be, hilly valleys in the center of the island, the hills get in the way of the storms so the clouds get bunched together then dump their loads and the rivers at the bottom the valley focus the water and overflow. So places like Gloucestershire where Wales meets England in the central land mass of the island were hit very badly. 

I wasn't surprised by the winter floods, this is the most damp winter I have seen in my working memory. I watched the rain falling relentlessly throughout December and January and now mid February rivers have finally overflowed. I always remember the water coming slowly in February as ice and snow. Now it is ready thawed and plentiful. I sense that things will never be the same again on this Island. The whole planet is slowly changing into something I don't recognize. 

We must also change. 

Random thought

I was just thinking that Jupiter is slowly turning into a star because material is falling into it and increasing its mass. The problem is that it has run out of material so the process has slowed down. Perhaps one day when the Sun has died and faded into a white dwarf, Jupiter will encounter a small cloud of material and gain enough mass to turn into a red Dwarf star.

It has a long way to go through, perhaps it must gain 10 times it's current mass to start shining.  

The Big Detonator

When I was at high school in the 90s, I was taught that the universe emerged from a big bang, they call this the big bang theory. 

Well...

I was left with a question that can't be answered, what is the detonator that set off the big bang? In order to have an explosion, you need a trigger. Every explosion that occurs is triggered by something, a Detonator. 

A big bang needs a big detonator to set it off, right? Something that starts the reaction. If you find the Detonator then you would need to know what made the Detonator. Then you would ask what made the event that created the Detonator. 

You would be digging and digging forever and never find the start of the reaction. And then you would wonder if there was something else here before the Universe existed like another universe. Perhaps there has been millions of universes here that have come and gone and this universe is just one of many universes and perhaps this universe will die and be replaced by another universe in the distant future. 

Life changing books

Looking back there are two books that had a large effect on me. 

Holocaust Memoirs by Issac Copperfield (not sure I spelled his name right) 

And 

The new part of the Bible. 

If you read the Bible you will find there are a lot of stubborn people in there with lots of flaws, Samson, Jonah, Moses, Noah they are a bit like me, imperfect, flawed and stubborn. But then came Jesus and he was blameless in every way and was overflowing with peace and love. Jesus clashed with the establishment because they lost the plot. Jesus healed people on the Sabbath and the authorities were angry at him but you see healing wasn't work to him it was just an act of love, he didn't want the people to suffer so he healed them. Jesus didn't like the temple grounds to be used as a market place because it is a place for worship of God so he pushed the market stools over. He likes people to prosper because he caused the fisherman's nets to be filled with fish but he didn't like the temple to be used for profit. I don't know why people would dislike a blameless man that has come to save them. He told everyone that he would die for them so they may live forever and he did that. 

The other book that left a big impression on me was Holocaust Memoirs. It was about a Jewish carpenter that was taken to Auschwitz concentration camp. I think that everyone should read Holocaust memoir books because you will see how cruel people can be and be aware of it. They forced many people to work for days and weeks without food and then when they were too weak they were taken to fake showers and had poisonous gas grenades dropped on them. I think the gas grenades were called cyclone B. That alone is bad enough but there was more, the guards would terrorise them in the night in their sleeping quarters, they would say "Do you love Germany" both answers, yes or no would merit a punch. Countless cruel deeds were carried out on the grounds not just the mass starvation, slavery and murder of people. The worst thing is it isn't fiction, it really happened. 

The nothing

About 2 days ago an English TV Presenter killed herself. It is very sad and caused me to bring up a life long question; What is the final destination for your being? What is the outcome for my consciousness when your body can no longer persist?

The picture I have in my mind is that you pass through a dark door into oblivion where nothing exists not even time or darkness. Just nothingness. This is backed up by the Christian bible, it says that people sleep in death until they are resurrected by God on judgement day. 

But you wouldn't be aware of the passing of time while you are dead, it is a bit like a time machine in a way except you wouldn't send your back to the future if you weren't standing in the machine properly; hmm, that would be episode 4 I think.

Anyway, if there is nothing beyond this life then why care about anything? You could become the champion of something now and be oblivious the next day after an accident. No joy, no reminiscence, no gratitude, no love, no hate, no Laughter, just nothing. 

I search for confirmation very often. I read books about an after life and search for proof of the mind alive beyond death, like another level of existence. 

Young Star dies

A young British TV presenter died yesterday I think, it is very sad, she is not the only young Star that has died, many yellow dwarf stars like our own sun die after shining 10 billon years and only use up a small fraction of the Hydrogen in their cores. Our own Yellow Dwarf star called the Sun is middle aged, it will die in 5 billion years and become unstable in half that time. 

However, every red dwarf star that has formed in the universe has a long way to go. Red Dwarf stars are smaller than the sun, usually about one third the mass, some are about half I think and they are able to use up all of their Hydrogen so they shine in main sequence for more than 100 billion years. This means every one of them is a juvenile. This also means we don't know the life cycle of them, we don't know what they do when they are middle aged or when they are old. All we know for certain is that they're very dim and last a long time and they are the most common type of star. 

This is just another thing that is hidden from mankind. What happens to Red Dwarf stars when they age. 

Epoxy Resin keen

One thing that is surprisingly interesting to watch on you tube is people making things using Epoxy Resin. Epoxy Resin is a plastic that is prepared as a liquid and sets hard like acrylic and is usually clear like glass.

I would like to make a bar table with Epoxy resin that is a tribute to Commander keen games. I mentioned earlier in this blog that the 90s decade was a big part of my life and Commander keen was made for DOS in the 90s, it is a very smooth side scrolling game made in between Wolfstine, Doom,  and Duke Nukem by the same companies, apogee software and ID. 

I would make a 3D version of the top down quest map from 3 commander keen games, keen 4, 5 and 6. I didn't play the other 3 games.

I would then pour the epoxy resin on the maps, they would then look like they were embedded in glass. It should be a nice effect. It would also be up-lit from underneath. 

To understand what I am talking about I would suggest you look up "Epoxy Resin table" on you tube. 

The bar table would go in my man cave  called "Happy Zone" in the 90s game bar. 

Guerrilla Warfare

In Guerrilla warfare, soldiers hide then ambush the enemy when they are not ready for combat. 

There is also a thing I call Gorilla warfare that is where a big hairy man walks into a toilet and pulls the seat too hard tears it off the bowl. Everyone that uses that toilet must levitate their bum in the air like a ninja in training over the bowl to use it and that stinks. 

It is stinks as bad as being in the gray zone. The gray zone is the term I use to describe living from paycheck to paycheck to pay your bills and survive. I hate it when celebrities say money won't make you happy because for me it will. I don't have a big ego to feed, my hobbies are enough to make me happy. And material worries make me unhappy, you see it is clear what 

I have to do. 

I fight my own gerrrriller warfare, I beat my chest and try as hard as I can to get out to of the gray zone and into the Happy Zone. If I succeed, I will build a man cave and call it the Happy Zone in tribute to escaping from the gray zone. A world where I work but I don't need to work and I have the freedom to nurture my hobbies properly. 

Corona clarity

The Corona is the name given to the hot plasma atmosphere of the sun that can be seen clearly during an eclipse. It is also the name given to a brand of beer and also a group of viruses. 

The only connection Corona beer has to the Sun's atmosphere is that the beer company wants you to associate their brand with the Sun. The virus is round and has a fuzzy surface so I guess it reminded the people that observed it of the sun's Corona. The three things are not connected. Beer is made with water, yeast and mash plus Hop berries to make it taste bitter I believe. The yeast eats the mash and makes alcohol and carbon dioxide and ethenol. I think the yeast is then killed with heat afterwards leaving the beer mix and the ethenol is removed. 

shake that money maker

If you had a magic money maker box that produced 5 pence every minute all day every day then you would be smiling. 

You would think at first that 5 pence is insignificant until to calculated how much you would get. There are 60 minutes in one hour so 5 pence per minute would leave you with £3.00 and there are 24 hours in a day so that would add up to £74 in one day. There are 365 days in a year, 365 X 74 is £26,280. (Twenty six thousand two hundred and eighty). There are 12 months with different lengths in a year but £26,280 divided by 12 is £2,190.

A 5p a minute magic money maker box would give you over two thousand £ pounds-sterling per month. 

I understand that over time inflammation changes things and perhaps in the future £2,000 would only buy you a meal but in this time it is enough to live on and if you already earned £25,000 per year then you would be lifted. 

I search for the 5p money maker box and dream of making it and shaking it. Perhaps it would be one of my creations or an e book I write. Perhaps a video game that I remake for the phone. Mabe an independent movie (indi-movie) that goes viral on YouTube. Remember 26,280 because that number is a special goal post. It is the name of a mile stone. I call it Twenty six two eighty, I will hide that number in my creations as a message to those that read my thoughts. 

Leisure compromise

For the last week or two I have been going on and on about the Happy zone. It is the name I have given to my dream man cave that would exist in an empty space in my home such as a shed or spare room and it is also a state of mind where I learn much and overcome challenges. Why? Because this blog is a reflection of my mind and it shows roughly what I am thinking about. 

Anyway 

There is a way to compromise with the man cave (leisure room). You would buy a large cupboard and hollow it out. and then put a recliner chair inside it.  Instead of a cupboard that goes to Narnia it would go to your man Cave. Then you would screw a TV to the inside wall of the cupboard, this cupboard would need to be slightly big. Then you would attach a games console to the TV. You could say it was a compact man cave. It would come with its own security, you would need to tell your wife how old you are every time you go in there :-p.  There would be a small shelf in the cupboard that has an electric cooler with transparent door on it. That would be the bar. There would be a small version of everything in there. It would even have its own mood lighting. 

A cupboard with a recliner in it with a TV screen and games console plus a cooler filled with drinks for a man cave. You have to start somewhere. 

na na na nineties

If I did get to build the happy zone man cave every part of it would be connected to the nineties. 

Why?

Because everything seemed to happen in the nineties and I was kid in the nineties. Even stuff in the previous decades was relevant back then if you watched UK channel 4. 

Domestic internet was born in the nineties and named the world wide web. Pluto was still considered to be a planet. The Germans learned to be one nation again. The Eugoslavians unlearned how to be one nation and fragmented into Bosnia, Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro, Kosovo and a few other countries, I wonder why they bothered to be honest, every time I watched the news at least one of those countries was in a civil war; I think Nicola Tesla would be turning in this grave, not just because he was buried with his magnets, wires and batteries. Did I mention that no one ever laughed at my jokes? kids in my time told dirty jokes and they weren't funny to me, I got them but didn't laugh. I didn't fit in at all, I hated football and star wars and pop music and all the things that everyone liked. I liked true life mysterys and watching people do difficult things like assault courses on the crypton factor or unbeatable banzuke. 

I learned to disappear in my own little world. I was amazed by the gaming world at the time. The game boy emerged in my part of the world and so did game gear and atri lynx. The Japanese gaming companies had perfected side scrolling games graphics and pioneered 3d open world games. It was an interesting time to grow up in. I liked to go to amusement parks and wonder around and play computer games and day dream, that is what the 90s meant to me. 

Windy Day

Jacob, my son. It is windy today. If your friendship with someone changes wind for whatever reason and that person tells lies about you to others or just treats you with disrespect then I would say turn them loose. Just stop talking to them try to avoid them all together. Don't try to

restore them. 

I read a few Holocaust survivor memoir books before, Isaak Copperfield's one stood out. I learned a few things about human nature. Some of the officers that operated the concentration camps were ordinary people but they were groomed and flaws in their personality were exploited to turn them into cruel and ruthless snake like people. People that embraced ignorance and had a capacity to hate and had an existing cruel nature were manipulated into cold blooded sadistic murderers. 

What I am saying is if someone says a lie about you they are ignorant and if they spread that lie then they have a capacity to hate and if they laugh when someone falls over and hurts themselves then they have a slightly cruel nature, all the person would need is a Gestapo agent to groom them into a beast. Why care if such a person is not your friend? Avoid such a person my son and don't talk to them. Read some of the many Holocaust memoirs out there and be aware of human nature. 

Whack a mole

When I was a young boy I loved to play "whack a mole", it was a machine with holes in it and plastic moles would pop up and you would hit them with a rubber hammer before they go back down to get points. If I had my man cave, it would definitely need to have a "whack a mole" machine in it. 

The "whack a mole" machine would go near the 90s gaming bar to make the bar appear like a separate room. So the bar has its own area that is partitioned by retro machines. There would also be bucket bowling next to the bar that would extend all the way to the other corner of the room. 

To simplify the layout I ask you to imagine a rectangle in front of you. The top right corner going half way down to the bottom right corner is the 90s gaming bar. The bottom left corner is the "hook a duck" pond with playing table.  The center left side is the big screen with 4 recliners and modern games consoles. Between the top right corner and the 90s bar area would be the bucket bowling lane and next to that by the 90s bar would be the "whack a mole" machine. The bottom right corner is the door way in and the center spaced out evenly is the four playing tables, pool, table tennis, foot ball and air hockey.

 

Lovely place to be, especially if I can make it real. 

The 90s gaming bar

I mentioned earlier that I dream of building a man cave called "The Happy Zone" (no inuendo in the name). 

In the corner of the room opposite the "Hook a duck" pond  would be a bar themed with 90s gaming. The 90s gaming bar would have a proper bar table with cooler boxes filled with soft drinks and beer plus a coffee machine. Behind the bar table would be ordinary book shelves but they would be filled with bottles to make it look like a bar and amoungst the bottles on the shelf would be four small TV screens, each one attached to a retro 90s games console remake, there would be a retro Sega mega drive, a retro SNES, a retro play station one and a capcom home arcade system or something similar. The nineties was a special time for me because all the games companies had perfected side scrolling games graphics so you had games like Sonic the hedgehog, Mario Bros, Golden Axe and 3d games were in their infancy but they were charming in their own way and I was a kid in the nineties. 

The bar table would have 8 very comfortable bar stools to sit on and each retro remake consol would have two controllers, there would be a little canopy roof on the bar and places to hang gaming merchandise from the 90s like Sonic teddy bears and plastic Mario brothers dolls, things like that. People would buy presents for the 90s gaming bar if they saw anying in the shops connected to the theme. 

Hook a Duck

I mentioned earlier in this blog that I would love to build a man cave called "the happy zone". In the corner of the room would be a "hook a duck" pond but the role of the "hook a duck" pond would be to act like a dice. Each plastic duck has a hoop on its back and there are two rods with hooks on them. You would hook a duck and at the bottom of the duck would be a number between one and six. There would be a glass cabinet next to the pond filled with old school physical board games, chess set and dominoes. The board games would include cludo, ludo, manopoly and things like that.  No teddys bears to be won here. The pond is quite big, a man could almost swim in it but not quite and there is a water fountain with coloured lights shining through it that empties into one side of the pond and this causes the water to swirl around and drag the little plastic ducks around so they are all shuffled. 

Directly next to the pond is a small table with two comfy chairs. The table has a print of a chess board on it, not that I would play chess but some visitors may do. But board games would be played on the small table. 

Thinking about the 90s gaming bar. I'll write  about that in another post if nothing much happens. 

Trump acquitted

It is the first week of February and two landmark things have happened, one that is important to me and one that is significant to the world. 

President Donald Trump was acquitted from being impeached and allowed to continue as president of America. The president of America affects the whole world. The only thing holding him back now is the re-election for a second term that will start at the end of the year. I am Trump Neutral, I"m not for or against him. I wish him luck and all the best for America. 

In my little world my dream has become clear to me. The concept of the Happy zone and man cave have merged together and it has stopped changing in my head so the picture is clear. The happy zone and the man cave are one, the man cave will be called  "The happy zone". I will build a large room or small hall, the walls of the large room would be fitted with tiles that have a frosted metallic gold appearance to make it gently bright. The room will contain flatterned bubble tubes (bubble panels) for lighting. The center of the room will have four playing tables, pool table, air hockey, football and table tennis. The side of the room will have 4 small couches and a large screen for playing computer games such as Mario kart or just watching TV. 

The opposite side of the room will be an old school arkade machine... 

One corner of the room would contain a bar table with soft drink fridges sunken into the table  and retro gaming systems attached inside the bar itself (the screens would be amoungst fake bottles behind the bar table) with 8 comfy stools. The three other corners of the room will have those things that made my childhood special. 

A "Hook a duck" pond with agitated water so the ducks move about and you get a rod and pull a duck out. But the bottom of the ducks are just numbers one to six, an elaborate dice with a small table to play physical bord games.

A "Whack a mole" machine with rubber hammer to hit the plastic moles when they pop up. And a bucket bowling lane, you bowl the ball and it goes up a ramp and jumps into large pots nested inside eachother with the smallest in the middle with the highest score. 

Then there is a door in the room to a workshop where I build things but I won't share that on here, sorry my friend. 

Most importantly, I will share my time with friends, family and visitors they will leave the Happy zone feeling happy. The English language changes over time so I will say happy means the opposite to sad and zone is a place or area. Don't think Happy zone is an inuendo, it is not. It has become a physical place in my head and a state of progress where I overcome mediocrity and become a master of trade and skill. Two distinct things with a clear objective. 

Clarity has come into my head and in global leadership. Parallel worlds so different but somehow connected. What comes next is unknown but what is wanted is clear. 

The Happy Zone

To me the Happy zone is a destination to get to when you when you master difficult things and have the freedom to live the way you want to live. 

I am a happy person by default, it is the struggles of the world that stop me. 

I dream of making man cave, a leisure room. I would sit in the room and play Mario Cart on comfortable couches with friends and family then play pool on a pool table and master a musical instrument. I would decorate the room nicely with gold metallic wallpaper to make the room bright because it would reflect the light around the room and it would have a bar table but the bar table would be a retro games hub that plays old video games on screens inside the bar where the bottles would normally be And then I would have a room where I make things and it would be an extension to the man cave, like a side room. 

It is very hard to explain what I see in my head. 

Star wars snores

When I was I kid I watched some movies called star wars, everybody seemed to love star wars except for me. 

I watched episode 4,5 and 6 and thought ok I will give it a chance and watch 1, 2 and 3, they didn't exist. In my little world everything needs to make sense. Why would you make future episodes first before the current ones. I understand if you make a prequel you are trying to tell a back story.

Anyway...

I watched a bunch of rebels running from imperial storm troopers and thought where did these guys learn to shoot? They couldn't even hit a shiny chrome robot with a class one mobility scooter for legs.  Why did Darth need 300 storm troopers, he could just have one of me with a gun and I would even shoot 3 of them with one shot because they all stay close together. 

Then there is the Robots, you have a robot that can walk and talk and little else and you have a robot that can fix everything but it can't walk and talk, it just beeps and whistles, why can't you combine c3p0 and r2d2 into one robot. A robot that can walk and talk and fix everything? This is set in the future. 

I won't go into the force because it is like magic. Why put magic into a sci-fi movie? They should have David Blane and Dynamo on there. 

You see I always felt like I didn't belong in this world because I never fit in. Everyone seemed to like things that I didn't like. 

Coupons are Lame

If there is one thing I dislike it is getting coupons with stipulations. If you spend £20 get 50p off, things like that. If someone wants to give something then give me something. If you want to give me 50p then give it, don't write only if you spend £20 or £30. Most coupons with spending stipulations get couped up in my wallet and expire. 

Spider P

I imagined a time when computers are so intelligent that they are asked so solve the world's problems. 

They say hey Clever Tron 4000. Solve the world's obesity problem and kill all the Locusts at the same time.  So the Robot gets to work and realises that the entire DNA sequence of a Tarantula fits inside the casing of the common cold virus so it splices the cold virus DNA with Spider one so the infected cells turn into Spider eggs. The spider eggs absorb slot of the person"s blood glucose so they loose weight and then the harmless spiders jump out of their mouth and kill all the Locusts. 

To cut a long story short millions of people catch this new cold virus and they panic because spiders are coming out of their mouth. A news presenter starts coughing and says I have a frog in my throat, then 9 spiders jump out of her mouth and the co presenter shouts "you have got to be kidding me!!!!!" Then Shaolin monks performing say "we get them out now" and cut their own heads off, very sad but an impressive display. Then millions of people run through the street with their arms shoved down their throats, they look like the letter P, it is like sesame Street marathon. 

They say "everybody has lost ten killos and the spiders have killed all the Locusts Clever Tron "you nincompoop". 

Anyway 

Someone said I should write children's books once. I don't think so. Did I mention there is a little world inside my head.