Mr Cheerman

I dreamed up a friendly robot in my head called Mr Cheerman. 

He talks very kindly and gives people paper flowers with stems that have coffee sachets in them and jokes. He greets everyone and tells them to have a nice day. Mr Cheerman waves and tells everyone to be happy. Mr Cheerman would help me expose the English problem. I'm English so I can say it. 

I could spray him with a chemical that reacts to saliva after he spent a whole day outside. He would look like fluorescent leopard. I would put him up on a stage and shout "Look everyone Mr Cheerman is covered in spit!!! He walked through a pigsty, was that pigsty Russia? No, was that Pigsty Saudi Arabia? No! , Was that pigsty China? No. It was England!!!! I would say "look at what they did to Mr Cheerman! Why are we criticizing other countries? Our behaviour is embarrassing to pigs, Mr Cheerman would have used chewing gum stuck on him and Spit, and rubber scuff marks where people kicked his legs. I would shout loudly, "Stop criticizing other countries, look at yourself"!!!!