In April 2008 there was a freak snow storm that came out of nowhere. The British transport system was unprepared and there was no salt to melt the ice on the roads, the weeks before showed very warm weather. It rarely snows in April in England, especially when the weather is warm. At the time I was questioning whether it was right to eat meat. I realized that human society was imprisoning animals for all their youth then killing them for food, I thought that was cruel. I thought that it is wrong to eat meat because you are supporting a cruel deed, you are a part of the team that caused the animal to be trapped and killed. By the middle of April 2008 I became a vegetarian and I am still a vegetarian 12 years later in 2020.
Now it is the end of the 2020 lockdown Spring and I have defined my lifestyle and named it. I call it the Grey zone, working hard and just being ok. I also realized that my life is almost equal to nothing because I won't exist for most of the time the universe is here. I just have a tiny little slot, a tiny flash of life that will last less than 150 years. Infact if you are reading this now 100 years in the future then my mind has probably already perished and my thoughts are no more. I am at the mercy of the creator. Unless I am restored to consciousness after my life ends, everything I am doing and thinking is for nothing. I realized that I want to escape from the grey zone and need to understand why I exist. I need to find God. Somehow I need to get in touch with the creator of the universe.
