Gentle Day

Jacob, My Son. You have changed me so much. Two days ago I was driving home from work and this lady was speeding behind me. I was driving at the speed limit and her car was approaching my car at a fast speed and then she was getting angry because I was in her way and she overtook my car when it wasn't safe over a small roundabout. If this had happened before you were born I would have been angry and sounded my car horn at the driver but I didn't care. I was just listening to my Spanish language CD that was teaching me Spanish and watching the road for hazards. 

Yesterday you climbed up my leg and opened your little mouth and puked into my slipper and on the floor. Again I was not angry at all. I just took a t-shirt that was getting rough and used it to clean up the puke. I don't give away my old clothes anymore because they get used to clean up messes. Infants are very messy. 

I like the new Alan, I like not feeling very angry. I hope you can one day have your own children and be liberated from long spurts of anger that come from living in this world. I would love to have more children in the future, if I can't I would adopt them and raise them as my own.